And Then There were Four

When a woman walks into a department store and buys the first pair of jeans she tries on she better figure somethings up. Right? Instead, I just thought wow, finally I'm fitting into my "skinny jeans." Now my skinny jeans probably wouldn't equal a normal woman's thought on skinny, but I've accepted the size and I'm happy with it. The day I bought my skinny jeans I never thought twice. I walked out of that store feeling great. I still never questioned why a week after recovering from the stomach flu I was still not feeling 100%. I chalked it up to running on empty and doing way to much as always. Then, one cold night at Walmart the thought dawned on me. Pregnant. The weight loss, the sick, the tiredness....why had I not put these pieces together before? Low and behold at 4:30 am the next morning after getting D to sleep for probably the 100th time my thoughts were confirmed. All these weeks of wanting to write so much, but feeling like I just couldn't let it out yet. Yesterday it was officially confirmed. My little bean is already 8 weeks. A little early to announce this to world, but I need a place to vent. To discuss all these thoughts I have in my head. I figure the people that read this must care about my life so they should know. The others, well they can wait and find out when the time is right. I'm still very nervous. It's only 8 weeks. Alot can happen, I know, I've been let down before. Just yesterday, when I saw the bean, it all came into vision. My little D is going to be a big brother. Our family of three will now be four. There have been moments when I think "Oh God, how am I going to handle this?" I guess I will figure it out. Right now though, I'm just trying to breathe deep and enjoy this ride. I'm trying to hide my excitement until I'm in the clear. Until then, I will just use this to vent my thoughts, feelings and anxieties. Hopefully you all don't get sick of hearing about it. So, that's my news. It feels so good getting it out. I hate keeping secrets! ;-)