After such a great birth experience with D, the birth experience was a let down. I'm very happy that he was healthy and everything turned out well, but I really don't feel like I was a part of his delivery. In that, I'm dissapointed. After laboring for 5 days and then having the actual birth come on so quickly, the pain, the annoying nurses and Resident...there is so much I would have changed. At no time during the entire process did I feel like I had any control. When I told them I had to push, they told me I needed to breathe it was to soon. To soon my ASS, the baby came flying out. I wish they would have just been up front with me and say "Girlfriend, there is no time for an epidural, plus we have no one to give you one b/c they are all in the operating room." Honesty is still the best policy right?! Instead, they gave Ryan and I the run around and made me accept the natural birth only seconds before Isaac entered the world. I think if I knew upfront an epidural wasn't an option I would have been able to some manage the pain differently. Once I knew I was going to have to deliver him like I did, I shut my eyes and made it happen. Either way, it was a very frustrating experience. In the end, I'm just happy that Isaac is here and we all survived.
Now, to the good stuff. I spent 9 months trying to figure out how you could possibly love another child as much as your first. Now I understand. Having Isaac here, I think makes me love Dominic even more. I look at D and I'm proud. He has turned into such a nice boy. I guess there was a part of me that still looked at him as a baby until I saw him next to Isaac. It is a wonderful feeling to see our family growing and knowing that we have so much love to give to both of our children. It has been nice to hibernate these past few days and just be a family together. I guess sometimes you need to step back from the busy life and take in what you have. Having these two guys in my life has changed me in so many ways and for that I am thankful.
2 comments:
What a wonderful post. I am so happy for you and your beautiful family. I have heard so many people who delivered at Ruby say the exact same as you... like they didnt have any sort of control of their birth process. I highly recommend the midwife group at Women's Healthcare and Mon General's maternity floor for your next one :) I lived there for almost 3 weeks in my 8th month and they were all truly top notch.
sarah this made me cry! in a good way, of course. i can't wait to meet your new little man. take care of you, ok? you did an incredible job with the circumstances you were dealt (as far as the birth goes). never lose sight of the fact that you have been a part of every single second of isaac's life and because of your strength you're all happy and healthy and home. i know it wasn't ideal, but you did a kick ass job and you should be proud of yourself. i sure as hell am. love you!
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